Never Give Up...

Tomorrow, I will start my last first day school for my Bachelors degree. I have so many emotions and things that are running through my mind. Not only has this been a long time coming, I am finally almost to my ultimate goal.

Graduating in 2007, I went straight to a four–year institution. I was a pre-med student and my life goal was to become a Doctor. I have always loved helping people so I thought this was the perfect way to do that. But a series of events kept me away from that goal. Not only did I get into heavy drinking, which happens to most new college students, but I got involved with the wrong crowd.  I stopped caring about my academics, my goals, and ultimately almost got kicked out of school. I went from someone who graduated with top honors to someone who cared more about the parting lifestyle.  I knew I had to make a change so I left that school, moved back home, and went to a community college.

During my community college time I became a Graphic Design student. I have been an artist since I was young, so I thought this would only be a more natural route. I loved every second of school and what I was doing.  I was creating, designing everyday and releasing that negative energy that came about during my first year of college But for some reason that passion went away.

I decided to clear my mind and do something different in my life- I applied to an airline company to become a Flight Attendant. Immediately I got a response and was asked to travel to a city in North Carolina to do an interview.  Not even a week after the interview, I got a call telling me that I got into training, and I would be moving to Phoenix, Arizona in less than two weeks. This was the best time of my life. I met some amazing people, who I am still in contact with today, and had an amazing experience traveling the country. But unfortunately some good things come to an end.

I found out that my company was going bankrupt and that I would basically be homeless. I wasn’t making enough money with the company to continue, so again, I had to come back home. In small words, I was defeated. I thought this was going to be my career and something that I would do for the rest of my life. 

At this point in my life I was lost.  I didn’t know what I wanted to do and who I was.  But I knew I couldn’t give up on having true happiness. I decided to go back to school and give it another try. I took some English Literature classes and fell in love. Being an avid reader since I was young, I have always loved studying and getting to know a novel. So once I got my grades up, I transferred to the school that I’m at now and became an English Major.

People always ask me, “So what are you going to do with your English degree?” and my response is, “ I will figure it out.”  I do eventually want to get my Masters and phD in Communications and Education and teach at the collegiate level. But the point of this whole story is…. I am now HAPPY.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to do something. The idea of life is figuring it out and ultimately finding your own happiness. You can never give up on finding out what makes you truly happy and achieving that final goal. Life is hard! But never give up on your dreams.

Shake It Off

So Taylor dropped a new video/song yesterday called, “Shake it off.” Usually I am not one to keep up with pop artist, or have anything to do with top- forty radio.  I grew up on the classic rock songs from Journey, ACDC, Queen, etc, so I tend to stick to that.  I have always felt modern music has influenced kids to go a negative route and tend to be about being rich, drinking, and more or less, about being perfect.

But when someone posted Taylor Swift’s new song yesterday on Facebook, I decided to watch it. Not only is it catchy, I was really surprised to hear the message that Taylor is trying to convey. First off, the title says everything that I have been talking about in my blog post. “Shake it off” meaning letting things go that has a negative effect on your self-esteem. Some of the lyrics says, “ Haters are going to hate, Players are going to play, and Heart Breakers are going to break. She is saying that no matter what we do in our life, there are going to be people that are going to try to bring us down. Either it will be someone that doesn’t like you, or guys who just want to be around for all the wrong reasons. We all will, or have come in contact with these individuals in our lifetime. But what we need to do is “Shake it Off.”  We can’t let these people dictate our life and how we feel about ourselves. Standing up and taking control over our feelings is the best way to get rid of those “haters.”

Also having fun and not caring what people think is also a huge motif in the video. Taylor is doing different, kinda bad, dances to show that you don’t need to be perfect. Having fun and loving what you do is the most important thing in life. We shouldn’t care what people think of us. Going out, being yourself, and having fun is an important empowering tool in improving self-esteem.

I think that we need more music like this in our society. We have become a nation that become obsessed with the perfect self-image, and having to be perfect at all times. And of course most music promotes this idea. So my goal for myself, and for all of you, is to SHAKE IT OFF. Don’t listen to what people tell you. Be yourself, have fun, and you will have a successful life. 

That monster called "Depression"

A lot of people ask, “What does depression look like?” and my response is always, “it doesn’t have a face.”  When someone is battling depression they usually hide it from the people that are around them. They put on a so -called “mask” and wear it so no one knows that they are hurting. They smile and laugh on second, and the next they go into a room to let out their emotions.

I have been battling this demon since I was young. No one in my family ever knew what was going on because I would pretend I was happy. I would smile, laugh, and let everyone know how perfect everything is, but all I wanted to do is scream. It felt like someone was constantly stabbing me on the inside trying to get out. It got to the point where I didn’t want to do anything anymore, not even my favorite hobbies. I had no energy or drive and I shut everyone out.

I knew I had to make a change and take control over this nasty disease. I couldn’t let it control my life anymore. And that is why I decided to make this blog. Not only am I trying to help myself, I want to help others to achieve greatness and take responsibility over their own life.  

Depression isn’t something you take likely. Like a lot of diseases, it can take you with one full swoop.  You don’t have to be alone with it, there are people who can help you and that understand what is going on. Don’t be afraid to talk about it, or be embarrassed. It isn’t something to be ashamed of.  Just know that you are never alone in this world and that you ALWAYS have someone there.

If you know anyone that may have depression, please talk to them. Let them know that they aren’t alone, that they are loved. Please always seek help. 

OPEN YOUR EYES (Week FIVE of SIX- Self-Confidence-challenge)

With technology surrounding us and getting improved every second of the day, it is really hard to focus on the things that are in front of us. We walk down the street with our phones in hand texting, scrolling on Facebook at dinner to see the next person’s update, and tweeting that selfie that you took with your friend. Taking a moment away from our phones is like loosing a best friend and gives most of us anxiety.

Living in the present is something that is hard for us to do. We always focus on the next day and not what is going on right in front of us at that very moment. Like scrolling on Facebook while at dinner with your friend, you could be wasting an opportunity that is important at that moment.

I’m not saying that I am perfect at this, because sure, I check Facebook or tweet when I’m at dinner and text while I am walking down the street.  But taking baby steps to getting rid of a bad habit is important. For example, I no longer have my phone with me at work. I leave it in the back so that I can focus on my customers and not what my friends are doing. But gradually I want to take a day a week to focus on the things that are in front of me and live in the moment.

Doctors have done research suggesting that living in the moment can prove self -confidence. Focusing on yourself and the present can help you let go of the things that you may have been dwelling on.  So my advice this week is to take a moment and live in the present. Get away from all the social media craziness and focus on yourself. The more you do it, the closer you will get to become a better YOU. 

Do To Others As You Would Have Them Do To You

It always bothers me when I see someone being rude or mean to someone else for no reason. Most of the time you see this as kids and all the school officials or parents say, “kids will be kids.”  But what happens when this transfers over to the adult age?

I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve seen a grown adult being rude to a covenant store employee, or anyone that they think are “inferior” to them. It really bothers me that people go around in this world thinking that they are better than others where in fact we are all equal.

What people don’t understand is that we get what we give off to others. If we are rude or do harm to someone else, we most likely will get that back into our own life. Our actions affect the course of our life and the direction that we may go in.  If we practice humility, helping others, and sharing good vibes, we will get that back upon our own lives.

In the end, practicing helping others and show them that there are good people in this world.  If we take the time out of our day to do one good deed for another person, we all will become better human beings.